Café Nervosa: Mediocre Food and a Resident Raccoon

For those of you who aren't from Toronto, Yorkville is a chi chi neighborhood full of designer boutiques, hair salons, plastic surgery clinics, and for some inexplicable reason, below average eats. It is a place people go to be seen and to spot celebrities and 6 figure cars trolling down the narrow streets. It is also, I recently learned, home to some very hungry raccoons.

Monday night Alex and I tried our luck at Café Nervosa. The food and service were very mediocre despite the impressive collection of awards littering the staircase wall on the way up to the patio where we ate. We started with a blasé spinach salad and overpriced table wine. We were in good spirits that night so we didn't really mind waiting over half an hour for our second course: a pizza they had forgotten to make.

After a few bites of pizza, I became aware that someone or something was watching me. I looked up and saw a raccoon sitting on the roof of the patio staring down at me baring its teeth and smacking it's lips hungrily while it looked around at the unsuspecting diners below. It kept moving around and shifting its position poking its head out here and there, as if deciding which table to pounce on. It really grossed me out and I could hardly eat because I was mentally preparing my exit strategy if it did jump on us. I would bolt down the stairs. Or I would jump over the bar. Other patrons started noticing, probably because I wasn't exactly quiet about it. One silly girl was like, awwww! It's so cute! But most diners looked anxious and I could see they were planning their exit strategy too.

It started sprinkling rain so the waiter came over to crank open the canopy that the coon happened to be sitting on. I asked him not to do that since I was afraid it would cause the hungry raccoon to fall onto the deck. He just laughed and said, "Oh ya, that's happened before. One time he went shooting down the stairs. It was hilarious!”

What?? This has happened before?? This raccoon is a regular? The waiter then proceeded to tell me that raccoons are around all the time and there is nothing they can do about it. He said they've called the city, but nothing has been done so far.

We immediately moved inside, paid our bill and left.

I think we'll save Yorkville for shopping from now on and leave the food to the raccoons.