Retro-Sexuals

My sister Claire and I enjoy bashing hideous trends. We hated Uggs, trucker hats, mesh slippers and this summer we’ve targeted Crocs as the must NOT have item of the season. Primarily we take issue with people dressing dumpily for no good reason.

Claire recently came across an article on retro-sexuals. Transl: A paunch-sporting man with no fashion sense. This would be the dude with the ear and nose hair who wears his flannels and old runners to death. The uber male. The article lists Vince Vaughn and Ben Affleck as the poster boys of this look. Ya right. Sloppy isn’t exactly the first word that comes to mind when I picture either of those two.

So who would be the female equivalent? With every starlet in Tinseltown starving herself into skeletal proportions with her barely there Versace clinging to her bony frame, it’s hard to come up with an example of a retro-sexual celebrity chick. That’s because no self-respecting stylist would allow their female clients to dress that way, and dumpy clothing isn’t available in size -2.

No, no, ugly wear is reserved exclusively for the average north American woman whom marketers having been deceiving for years into believing that hideous equals cutting edge fashion. Remember adult overalls??

There are plenty of comfortable stylish things a gal could wear without looking foolish. Lululemon is a great place to start and if that’s too expensive, Old Navy and H&M can supply tights, skirts and denim that are fashionably cheap.

Chickies, let’s not be fooled. Put away the sweatpants with wording across the butt. Resist the temptation to delve back into blue eyeshadow. Do me a personal favor and stay away from Crocs!

We can do better. And we should.