Monday, August 24, 2009

Clock Punchers

The thing I enjoy the least about my job is managing people. When I was little, I envisioned myself a top boss at some lucrative company smartly swinging my briefcase, wearing an immaculate designer suit, latte in hand, striding confidently into work to manage my people. I thought being in charge of people would be the best thing about being a boss. Everyone would love working for me because I'd be so kind and generous. I would be the best possible boss, having learned from all the bad ones I had in past jobs from being a server to direct marketing (approaching people in the mall to switch long distance companies - the horror!) to being hit on every work party by my drunk/high insurance boss.

It turns out, being a nice person does not make you a good boss and certainly does not earn you the respect of your employees. What it does, is make you a target for Clock Punchers everywhere. Though we've been pretty lucky with some of the great talent we've worked with, there have been a number of clock punchers who have applied and even a couple who made it past the gate keepers to get a job.

Now, Clock Punchers are hard to spot at first because they look good on paper and are usually quite charming in person. Of course this is how they've gotten by rather than on their productivity. It's only when you see them in action/start receiving their bills that you realize you have hired a Clock Puncher.

This is what a Clock Puncher's invoice looks like:

Aug 1: Meeting - 3 hours (only it was with you, and it was actually less than 2 hours)
Aug 2: Receive and reply to email - 1 hour (really? A whole hour to read and reply to a few short sentences?)
Aug 3: Receive and reply to emails - 3 hours
Aug 4: Meeting - 1 hour (again with you, and it was a 15 minute phone call)
Aug 5: Review website/surf the Internet - 5 hours
Aug 6: Various emails - 4 hours

Total: 17 hours

Great! Now what did we get for 17 hours? A whole bunch of nothing. That's a pretty lousy ROI.

Approach a Clock Puncher about said invoice and the response will be indignation, because of course you are the first person to ever complain about their services. All of their other clients are thrilled to pay for nothing more than the pleasure of their name on the payroll. That's probably true. Clock Punchers do very well in large organizations that are bulging at the seams with overhires. Warm bums in seats can get by for quite some time before they are found out.

Another thing to consider is that Clock Punchers charge a minimum of one hour for everything:

Aug 8: Thought about project in the elevator - 1 hour
Aug 9: Had a dream about the project and mentioned it to a friend - 2 hours

So you've gone and hired a Clock Puncher, now what do you do? Fire quickly. The worst thing you can do is keep the person on for another month thinking, "Oh, maybe it's my fault because I didn't specifically say that I needed them to actually complete their work," or, "Maybe he/she is having a rough month because of the economy and they really need the money." Even worse, "Maybe I can teach him/her how to be more productive." Unless you are a retired philanthropist with a pet project to make humanity better at their jobs one Clock Puncher at a time, this is a wasted effort that will cost more than you can imagine in time and effort.

Finding the right people often just boils down to your gut. Every time you ignore your instincts you are making a mistake. We once interviewed a developer who wouldn't look me in the eye the entire interview. I would ask him a question and he would turn to Alex direct his answer to him. 5 minutes into the meeting I announced we had to go to another appointment and that was the end of that. I'm not sure why this individual applied to a company called "Chick"Advisor if he couldn't even look upon me, but then again maybe I do. He was a Clock Puncher looking for a little extra cash on the side.

I'm glad we dodged that bullet. How do you spot (and handle) Clock Punchers?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Blast from the Past

Today I bumped into one of my old friends, Theo from my Insurance days. Wow, it feels like a lifetime ago! It's amazing how much can happen in 5 years. In that career I was really unfulfilled and didn't enjoy my work. However, I loved my coworkers and the branch manager who were such a pleasure to work with. That was probably part of the reason I was there as long as I was. Isn't it funny how looking back on certain periods in life can feel like a totally separate lifetime?

Theo is still with the same company but has been promoted several times and is in a good place in his career. When we met he was starting out. It's so exciting to see people I knew 5 years ago and how they have progressed in life. It's also thrilling for me to see how much my life has been totally changed in 5 years:
With Candace Bushnell, Author of Sex & the City

* I now have my degree (Radio & Television Arts from Ryerson University) - not having my degree was a chip on my shoulder for a long time. I'm so happy to have accomplished this.

With a ChickAdvisor member at an event

* Instead of being in an unfulfilling job scraping by with bad pay I'm my own boss and I LOVE what I do. Just today I interviewed the founder of H20+. What an amazing woman. It was an inspiration to meet her and she loaded me with products to try. Then I swung by the Intercontinental hotel to pick up my media passes for Fashion Week. Yup, this is my life now. When I think about all of the experiences I get to have in this new role it's mind blowing. I'd probably hate me if I wasn't me. ;)
Two geeks on vacation. Our first non-family trip since we launched the company.

* I have an amazing husband who is also my business partner. I dated my share of beasts before I met my Prince, Alex and he's the most supportive man I've ever met. Not only did he convince me to quit Insurance and go back to school, we launched the company together and he has been 100% behind my many wacky ideas for the business. He's also a really good cook and romantic too. I'd continue but I don't want ya'll to hate ;)

* I own a beautiful little condo in a great location. It's so nice to know that our monthly payments are making it more ours every day instead of going into a bottomless pit of rent. There is huge satisfaction in that.

At our Sex and the City event

* I'm surrounded by amazing people. In the last 5 years I've made some new friends who are absolutely incredible human beings. One of my sisters, Claire (wacky blonde in photo) works with me and has done an amazing job. Another sister and her husband also moved to Ontario so I have family here now. That means a lot. I also have wonderful In-laws who love to cook. Hello!

Interviewing designers Dean&Dan for ChickChat TV

There were times in my past when situations were so bad I couldn't imagine a way out of it. It just goes to show that if you keep trying and keep you head up, you can come through anything and dramatically change your life. Faith is a big part of that. Don't ever stop believing!

I can't wait to see how the next 5 years will pan out.