I absolutely loathe automated telephone services. Especially the ones with a false sounding overly friendly psuedo human barking instructions in your ear followed by, "I'm sorry you're having difficulty!! Please tell me what you're looking for!!"
This bastardisation of customer service is the bane of my existence every time I am forced to use it. Giving these computer generated piss-offs a name just further insults my intelligence. "Hi, I'm Emily!!!"
Today, I had the misfortune of having to speak to another one of these stupid things. I stood in line at Ryerson to pay my tuition, came to the counter and whipped out my banking card.
"Hmmm, the transaction didn't go through." The tuition man said at me over his glasses.
I looked at the keypad in disbelief and it said I had reached my maximum limit. I was unaware my bank had me on a daily allowance. What am I, 12? Annoyed, I called the 1800 number on my bank card.
"Hi! I'm @sshole!! Welcome to blah blah blah bank!! Please tell me what you're looking for!"
"Customer Service"
"I'm sorry! I did not recognise your response!! Please choose one of the following 10 options!!
I pressed "0" about 12 times, my usual trick to get past these monkeys.
"I'm sorry! I did not recognise your response!! Please tell me what you're looking for!"
"Customer Service"
"I heard you say you'd like to speak to a representative! Is this correct? Please answer yes or no!"
"Yes"
"In order for me to further assist you, please tell me what this is for! Choose one of the following 10 op --"
"I want to speak to a human being!!!!"
"I'm sorry you're having difficulty! Please choose --"
"Human being!" I hollered, "Homo Sapien!!! Now!!"
"I heard you say you'd like to speak to a representative! Is this correct? Please answer yes or no!"
The tuition man looked at me uncomfortably.
I pressed "0" another 34 times. There was a very long pause. At least 30 seconds. For a second I thought the computer monkey hung up on me. Finally the phone rung about 20 times and I got an irritible representative on the phone. Perhaps he was angry at me for shouting at the monkey.
Thankfully, several minutes later the human banking representative sorted everything out for me and I paid my tuition.
"Sorry 'bout that!" I smiled sweetly at Ryerson tuition man.
I'm sure he thinks I'm a psycho.
4 comments:
Haha...I completely understand your frustration. I'm sure most people have had similar experience. I don't know one person who actually like these automated systems. I know I've had my fair share of Emilys and Mikes and I hate them all. Here was my experience with Rogers last year:
http://schmitgit.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!740682B369D1D40B!693.entry
hahahahahahahahahaha! That was too funny, but in a sickly way, since I have also recently had the pleasure. Here's the thing: in order to save money, these companies bring in the computer monkeys; then, some companies use the fact that they don't have them as a sales gimmick. Hello???
Actually, I shouldn't mock. Knowing that they employ life forms is an incentive for me. I would switch to a more expensive service if I knew I could talk to a human in 30 seconds or less if a problem arose.
Way to bark at the monkey!!!!!
I'm with ya! It drives me nuts!!!
Post a Comment