Winterlude, My @ss!

Here are a few questions I ask every winter and have yet to get a reasonable answer:

1. What were they thinking??
I grew up in Winnipeg or "Winterpeg" as it's commonly referred to. Every winter as the temperatures swung between a balmy -20 and -30 Celsius (I don't imagine those temperatures even come in Fahrenheit), I would ask myself what the heck were the pioneers thinking when they settled in this wasteland? Without the technology we have now, which does little to ease or prevent the bone chill, how did they survive? You'd think after 1 winter they would have packed up and left, and yet, they FOUGHT to stay there (??) I would have preferred Europe, thank you very much - and not just for the clothes.

2. Why is my family still there?
I moved nearly 7 years ago and though I love my family dearly, I haven't once considered moving back despite the toxic Toronto air. There is more to do here and I don't feel like I'm being stabbed in the throat if I breathe sans balaclava 6 months of the year. I've been trying to convince them to move with little success. I may have to resort to such devious tactics as grandchildren, but that also means more work for me.

3. Are you people sure we're genetically designed to be here?
I'm quite confident I am not built for winter. Though I bundle up from head to toe with my big furry boots and toque complete with earflaps I'm always desperately cold. It makes me angry and irritable. This weekend we're in Ottawa, which is colder than Toronto - and these people are playing outside having Winterlude! Dudes, why?? For me, winter is all about survival, not enjoyment and certainly not to stand around in the cold eating sugar covered lard (beaver tails) carving ice creations in the snow. I'd much prefer a glass of wine by the fire and forgo the "weathered skin" look. It's sooo passé.

I'm sorry that's all I've had to say in about a week, but as you can see, I find winter truly uninspiring.*

*with the exception of skiing and skating in reasonable tempuratures for limited periods of time, circumstances permitting - including but not limited to: having an appropriate stylishly warm outfit so I look chic rather than "snowbeast"; that the sun is present at all times - I hate cloudy grey skies; that I am mere steps away from a cozy chalet or cafe that serves high quality lattes and hot chocolate with the option of lactose-free milk; and, that my nose or mascara do not run at any time, avoiding looking like a snot-nosed kid or as though I've been crying. Some conditions apply.