The thing I enjoy the least about my job is managing people. When I was little, I envisioned myself a top boss at some lucrative company smartly swinging my briefcase, wearing an immaculate designer suit, latte in hand, striding confidently into work to manage my people. I thought being in charge of people would be the best thing about being a boss. Everyone would love working for me because I'd be so kind and generous. I would be the best possible boss, having learned from all the bad ones I had in past jobs from being a server to direct marketing (approaching people in the mall to switch long distance companies - the horror!) to being hit on every work party by my drunk/high insurance boss.
It turns out, being a nice person does not make you a good boss and certainly does not earn you the respect of your employees. What it does, is make you a target for Clock Punchers everywhere. Though we've been pretty lucky with some of the great talent we've worked with, there have been a number of clock punchers who have applied and even a couple who made it past the gate keepers to get a job.
Now, Clock Punchers are hard to spot at first because they look good on paper and are usually quite charming in person. Of course this is how they've gotten by rather than on their productivity. It's only when you see them in action/start receiving their bills that you realize you have hired a Clock Puncher.
This is what a Clock Puncher's invoice looks like:
Aug 1: Meeting - 3 hours (only it was with you, and it was actually less than 2 hours)
Aug 2: Receive and reply to email - 1 hour (really? A whole hour to read and reply to a few short sentences?)
Aug 3: Receive and reply to emails - 3 hours
Aug 4: Meeting - 1 hour (again with you, and it was a 15 minute phone call)
Aug 5: Review website/surf the Internet - 5 hours
Aug 6: Various emails - 4 hours
Total: 17 hours
Great! Now what did we get for 17 hours? A whole bunch of nothing. That's a pretty lousy ROI.
Approach a Clock Puncher about said invoice and the response will be indignation, because of course you are the first person to ever complain about their services. All of their other clients are thrilled to pay for nothing more than the pleasure of their name on the payroll. That's probably true. Clock Punchers do very well in large organizations that are bulging at the seams with overhires. Warm bums in seats can get by for quite some time before they are found out.
Another thing to consider is that Clock Punchers charge a minimum of one hour for everything:
Aug 8: Thought about project in the elevator - 1 hour
Aug 9: Had a dream about the project and mentioned it to a friend - 2 hours
So you've gone and hired a Clock Puncher, now what do you do? Fire quickly. The worst thing you can do is keep the person on for another month thinking, "Oh, maybe it's my fault because I didn't specifically say that I needed them to actually complete their work," or, "Maybe he/she is having a rough month because of the economy and they really need the money." Even worse, "Maybe I can teach him/her how to be more productive." Unless you are a retired philanthropist with a pet project to make humanity better at their jobs one Clock Puncher at a time, this is a wasted effort that will cost more than you can imagine in time and effort.
Finding the right people often just boils down to your gut. Every time you ignore your instincts you are making a mistake. We once interviewed a developer who wouldn't look me in the eye the entire interview. I would ask him a question and he would turn to Alex direct his answer to him. 5 minutes into the meeting I announced we had to go to another appointment and that was the end of that. I'm not sure why this individual applied to a company called "Chick"Advisor if he couldn't even look upon me, but then again maybe I do. He was a Clock Puncher looking for a little extra cash on the side.
I'm glad we dodged that bullet. How do you spot (and handle) Clock Punchers?
It turns out, being a nice person does not make you a good boss and certainly does not earn you the respect of your employees. What it does, is make you a target for Clock Punchers everywhere. Though we've been pretty lucky with some of the great talent we've worked with, there have been a number of clock punchers who have applied and even a couple who made it past the gate keepers to get a job.
Now, Clock Punchers are hard to spot at first because they look good on paper and are usually quite charming in person. Of course this is how they've gotten by rather than on their productivity. It's only when you see them in action/start receiving their bills that you realize you have hired a Clock Puncher.
This is what a Clock Puncher's invoice looks like:
Aug 1: Meeting - 3 hours (only it was with you, and it was actually less than 2 hours)
Aug 2: Receive and reply to email - 1 hour (really? A whole hour to read and reply to a few short sentences?)
Aug 3: Receive and reply to emails - 3 hours
Aug 4: Meeting - 1 hour (again with you, and it was a 15 minute phone call)
Aug 5: Review website/surf the Internet - 5 hours
Aug 6: Various emails - 4 hours
Total: 17 hours
Great! Now what did we get for 17 hours? A whole bunch of nothing. That's a pretty lousy ROI.
Approach a Clock Puncher about said invoice and the response will be indignation, because of course you are the first person to ever complain about their services. All of their other clients are thrilled to pay for nothing more than the pleasure of their name on the payroll. That's probably true. Clock Punchers do very well in large organizations that are bulging at the seams with overhires. Warm bums in seats can get by for quite some time before they are found out.
Another thing to consider is that Clock Punchers charge a minimum of one hour for everything:
Aug 8: Thought about project in the elevator - 1 hour
Aug 9: Had a dream about the project and mentioned it to a friend - 2 hours
So you've gone and hired a Clock Puncher, now what do you do? Fire quickly. The worst thing you can do is keep the person on for another month thinking, "Oh, maybe it's my fault because I didn't specifically say that I needed them to actually complete their work," or, "Maybe he/she is having a rough month because of the economy and they really need the money." Even worse, "Maybe I can teach him/her how to be more productive." Unless you are a retired philanthropist with a pet project to make humanity better at their jobs one Clock Puncher at a time, this is a wasted effort that will cost more than you can imagine in time and effort.
Finding the right people often just boils down to your gut. Every time you ignore your instincts you are making a mistake. We once interviewed a developer who wouldn't look me in the eye the entire interview. I would ask him a question and he would turn to Alex direct his answer to him. 5 minutes into the meeting I announced we had to go to another appointment and that was the end of that. I'm not sure why this individual applied to a company called "Chick"Advisor if he couldn't even look upon me, but then again maybe I do. He was a Clock Puncher looking for a little extra cash on the side.
I'm glad we dodged that bullet. How do you spot (and handle) Clock Punchers?
1 comment:
Well, it's my pleasure! That's an amazing giveaway =D
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